我不想忘記

盡管大力拍我的肩膀吧。的確是很熟悉的心情，是，我的心情寫照。其實我自覺非常勇敢，有時候又覺得自己很懦弱。如果說他能狠狠地嚷着要我離他遠遠的，我想我會很快學會放下。但他始終沒有。不知道自己到底希望如何，我其實只懂得如何盡心盡力地依賴着對他的惦記，一再讓自己因他而受傷，這樣似乎才能因為累、因為膩，因為沉默而放開緊握的拳頭。固執的是自己，他從來不在這其中，但在心開始枯萎之前又能如何？真的，還能如何？

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On My Own

now I’m all alone again,
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.
Without a home, without a friend,
Without a face to say hello to.
And now the night is near,
Now I can make believe he’s here.
Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping.
I think of him, and then I’m happy
With the company I’m keeping.
The city [...]

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Learn to live-one perspective

Just heard of the following story….
A lady proposed to a philosopher and the latter replied that he would have to think about it. Once he had thought through, he realized that when there is a dilemma, you can decide to choose what you have never experienced before and in his case, it would be to accept the proposal and [...]

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Le Grand Voyage

 

Son: Why didn’t you fly to Mecca? It’s a lot simpler.
Father: When the waters of the ocean rise to the heavens, they lose their bitterness to become pure again…
Son: What?
Father: The ocean waters evaporate as they rise to the clouds. And as they evaporate they become fresh. That’s why it’s better to go on your [...]

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Ipod Fury

http://hosp2a.seesaa.net/article/15821011.html

My dearest Ipod just refused to auto- sync. I have no idea what has happened to it and certainly I can’t do anything whatsoever to fix it right. Somehow, it just stopped and “hanged” on the same old song list updated since last December and all my new albums just don’t seem to get some [...]

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童趣

小島慶祝不惑歲月之際，自己突然豁然開朗。我喜歡這樣的自己，在這么一個聚會盡情談笑風生，就算偶爾提及他，也不會有太多聯想或感傷。喜歡聽“很女人”的友人又說又罵，喜歡聽“較男人”的友人分解析剖測。重要的是，大家都擁有同樣的青春歲月，大家都能互相了解與憐憫。開始明白“女人”為何強調未來伴侶要詣華文；否則無法溝通，又多一份猜測。當時不以為然，總覺得感情就是插了翅膀的言語，一切不言而喻，盡在不言中。也明白“男人”的干脆利落，需要猜測的，大概也不會是真正的兩情相悅了。對于他的若即若離，似有若無的情感，不想奢望，也不屑等待。不管此刻他在首爾、吉隆坡或曼谷，總而言之，他不在我身邊。
很開心地吃了一頓會發胖的夜宵；麥當勞的開心餐以外，一個McSpicy原來更令人心情沸騰。然后童年樂事一一浮現，愈發歡悅：那在水溝前，排排蹲着刷牙的往事歷歷在目，就是想不起來，牙刷和水杯到底放置何處？還有每天分配的牛奶，一桶桶的“加料”牛奶，以及后來每人一包的包裝牛奶，同樣令人回味無窮。從長方形，到三角形，然后是口味眾多的紙盒包裝飲料，當時自己最盼望分到香蕉奶味或紫色特殊口味的，現在也叫不出名字的牛奶口味了。小時候的自己可勇敢多了，猛塞零食，吃得牙齒都蛀壞后，徑自到學校附設的牙科診所去求醫，一次就被狠狠拔掉兩顆牙，卻一聲不吭。怎么長大后處事如此不甘不脆？所以當“男人”車上播放的經典懷舊歌曲再度響起，我答應自己，是該找回自己，勇敢面對了。…

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A piece of Summer

Finally a ticket back to Seoul this summer but have since given it up

Guess this is the way life is to be; waiting for someone or/and something and finally when it’s there, somehow, you just know you have to give them all up… so I reckon it’s time to go a on a solo [...]

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비밀

왜  힘들어요?  지금  도  촣아해죠?  그렇지마… 요즘  마음이  더 아빴어요.  내가 미칬어,  바보인데요. 하지만,  너  슬퍼하면,  나도  슬퍼해요… Held my breath, just can’t seem to breathe like before. The eyes cannot see clearly, the mind refuses to think and act upon the non-thinking processes. Feeling rather restless, aimless and totally drained,… yes, repeating [...]

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