念念

因為思念，山水皆有情。

Ailment

I am sick, or must be coming down with something. Am feeling almost too lethargic for any healthy souls, though slept through 2 full hours. Still wanting to sleep, like dying to go to sleep and not thinking at all. Weak in the body and the mind, numb in the department of feelings and emotions. I am certainly sick to the core.

Suckers

So what if you are a sucker? Am I not one too? There is such a breathtakingly alluring view out there, when one door is closed, it opens up another, still, we are both very much locked within the four walls erected to keep oneself captive. And when you talked about dreams and hopes, some unfulfilled promises and capacity of all possibilities, I am certainly skeptical though I was never like this before. Once a dreamer, I thought dreams will come true one day, then the little key accessory with the famous or infamous tag line was lost and am suddenly feeling lost…then I believed in the glitter of his smiling eyes, the warmth of his hands and the endless conversations we have had. Nothing was quite part of the reality that I thought it was I suppose, I can’t even be sure of that, that’s the sad part of everything. Still I miss him, and I only wanted all blessings be showered upon him and I prayed and am praying still, that he will be out of sight, out of mind. But to no avail. You call it destiny, even when it’s a bad omen, even when nothing will come out of it. I have lost touch of what fate should represent itself, I can’t feel and will not feel as much for anyone else, I knew that the day I cried my heart out just thinking of how I may no longer see him again. And you asked if I still feel for him, in fact I do, perhaps not as intense an affection, yet the scar still hurts a little. And cruelest of all is but the fact that he can be feeling alright all the time while it bothers me much. Just a plain loser, a true sucker. Yes, you are not alone in this, I am a sucker myself. 

五月天

如果記憶是一條河流，是否潺潺流逝，抑或周而復始？炎夏的晚上和久違了的好友“煲電話粥”，不免又談起你。問我好嗎？問你還是不是會偶然“出現”？答案都是肯定的。距離最近見面也有一年多了，雖然仍然在短訊中得知你的近況，距離是可怕的隔閡，你我早已很清楚。沒能去想象你現在的模樣，更沒辦法猜測你如今的心情。朋友說你還保持聯絡就表示自己對你來說，還是有些“特別”的。是自己的執着？是自己的隨性？是自己毫無保留的誠摯？其實都不再重要了。你依舊是那個離我遙遠的身影，我早就累得無法再作任何詮釋。就算再不能見到你，就算從此只在夢里打撈對你曾經的依戀，雖然還有難過的時候，強烈思念你的片刻，你的不在才是事實；這一點我老早搞清楚了。因此只是今天，就5月的第一天，讓我想起對你來說，比較特別的一首中文歌曲，五月天樂團的《溫柔》。你至今還是我的一抹溫柔，卻再不能傷害我了。