“尹”（癮〕君子

“尹”者，舊時官名、姓氏。“癮”者，特別深的不良嗜好、癖好等。

也是一個星期二嗎？大概相隔整整一周的時間，臺灣老板和多時不見的友人分別提起了他。前者一針淌見血地問自己心里是不是還有他？后者漫不經心，脫口一句：“尹”（癮）君子呢？都知道這個字原是一大禁忌，現在竟然都能心平氣和拼出來，我愿意相信就是傷口真正愈合的時候了。

First Impressions

It was actually what Jane Austen had in mind before the final publication for the book title of Pride and Prejudice, mainly because of the less than pleasant meeting of the leads in the story. And I thought it would be more apt than what was later explained at least in one instance I vaguely remembered, the movie You’ve got mail. Then Meg Ryan was totally obsessed with the book and will re-read it ever so often and perhaps also for the similarity or pun intended with her character and that of Austen’s. Indeed, Tom Hanks could just have been the proud Mr. Darcy while she, Meg Ryan was the bias Miss Bennet or Lizzy.

Like some of the Austen’s stories, the female lead seems to be rather slow to notice the affection they’ve received from their admirer, Emma being the other tale of the sorts. And though I must confess that I have no idea how the annual worth works when one is married well, I can still identify with the notion of marrying your equal. There is so much truth even in the present society when love is put to a test in view of the power of wealth. Take the worthless Mr. Wickham for example, worthless as in all sense of the word the character is, love or marriage is just a business venture and I seriously think that many men may still share his sentiments. Yet just how he would eventually choose to elope with Lydia, the vivacious and most animated character in the book I am totally clueless. But at least the money grabber has made a good move as far as his condition permits and at least it wasn’t another heart wrenching scene between the eldest Miss Bennet and Mr. Bingley as it was with Marianne Dashwood and Mr. Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility. I thought just how or why did Mr. Darcy have a change in attitude and opinion for Lizzy lacks substance in the writing. As a reader, I could not feel the passion develops or the love blossoms even though Mr. Darcy had meaning to convince his readers towards the end of the book. And although Lizzy would like to believe that her indifference towards the ever so charming and filthy rich Mr. Darcy was what attracted him to her, one still feels it’s rather surreal given the few interaction and even less communication they could have had. However, I do like the couple even when I am thinking hard on the theme intended with the given title(s). Whatever it is, I would love to meet my Mr. Darcy, one who is ever so heroic and will save the day whenever I or my loved ones are in trouble. He certainly needs not appear to be an affable gentlemen to others, but as long as he is truly a gentleman and one who only has eyes for me, I willingly give up on my pride and prejudice.

Mr. Darcy, where art thou?

한국어 연습할게요—제일과

반가워요!

오늘부터  한국어  열심히  공부할게요. 그거  좋은  생각죠?

이 블로그  좀  보세요,  실수  하면  도  고쳐료,  부탁해요. 

사실이  지금을  한국  가  고싶어요,  하지만  못해요,  안돼요…

紀念

Not a problem, just woke up in the wee hours, still in daze and I am all fresh and alive all over again! Can’t literally spelt out what I’d gone through over the weekend, the last Chuseok I am ever going to remember and actually bother to remember. When I first came to realize how meaningless and futile it all came to be, when I see vividly that diminishing ’self’, all strivelled and almost close to death, suddenly all became clear to me. Whatever will be will be, I might have magnified the whole episode, I may have been too emotionally and way too sentimentally involved and immersed so much so that I could only allow myself to wallow in self pity and making that someone bigger than in real life. Still not quite sure what this all means to me, perhaps a short revival or if optimistic enough, it’s just waking up from a long lasted dream. And however mesmerizing it may be, it is merely a moment of virtual reality.

相信我真的努力了好久，就因為太久了，竟忘了可以不必那么努力，可以不再努力了。而且有些事情本來就是任自己再怎么努力也不會有收獲的。所以發現原來還可以努力不讓自己繼續努力下去。終于有松了一口氣，起碼是喘口氣的力量了。感覺，真的輕松多了。

Harvest moon-My blueberry nights

서두르 지마, 걱정 하 지마, 아직 도 생각 해요.

A broken hearted Lizzy who knows not how to say goodbye went in search of the key to unlocking her unsettled emotions, found Jude who makes great blueberry pies despite the fact that there were few who will take to the pie. But why is it that the cheesecake and the chocolate cakes will sell fast but not the blueberry pie, topped up with ice-cream? To that, Jude says it’s just how it is but that has nothing to do with the blueberry pie and he continues to make them hoping that Lizzy who had gone travelling all around the United States would be back one day and be back for the pie.

Nothing too fantastic about the movie, I am just reminded of Chung-King Express, the Faye Wong character who waits at a cafe and how Tony Leung would come along and they were like an item who are not yet an item. The key(s) too was what brought the two together and even the reunion was somehow less than expected, but still it was good memory of some good movies.

Full moon night, the rain came and went.

TGIF

Presumably the best obituary yet to be.

Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. “Things were clearer for him,” Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call “fatum”, what we currently refer to as destiny.

Footnote: You know the Greeks didn’t write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: “Did he have passion?”.

太多

Ending this prolonged song session with this last tune…

Apparently they have been singing in the hearts of many and are still stirring up all mixed emotions whether one likes it or not. Wasn’t quite keen on writing since the appearance of all songs featured, I mean the lyrics said it all, what’s more left unspoken of? I’m just glad that we still feel strong enough to respond to the singing even though it hurts. Time passes and time will heal, the next time the singing goes, one could be putting on a smile rather than be a picture of sadness. The deepest thoughts and feelings unearthed, the darkest secrets revealed, and you realize that you are no more unique than anyone else and that itself should be comforting. Feeling weak or going strong, courageous or cowardly, one can choose to confront one’s true ‘’self”, nothing else matters, the conscious act of making a choice is a discipline one has in control.

Place to be

When I was younger, younger than before
I never saw the truth hanging from the door
And now Im older see it face to face
And now Im older gotta get up clean the place.

And I was green, greener than the hill
Where the flowers grew and the sun shone still
Now Im darker than the deepest sea
Just hand me down, give me a place to be.

And I was strong, strong in the sun
I thought Id see when day is done
Now Im weaker than the palest blue
Oh, so weak in this need for you.

Colors

Yesterday i got lost in the circus,
feeling like such a mess.
And now I’m down,
I’m just hanging on the corner.
I can’t help but reminisce.

Cuz when you’re gone,
all the colours fade.
When you’re gone,
no new years day parade.
You’re gone,
colours seem to fade.

Your mama called, she said,
that you’re downstairs crying.
Feeling like such a mess.
Ya, i hear ya,
in the back ground balling.
What happened to your sweet summer time dress.

I know we all,
we all got our faults.
We get locked in our vaults,
and we stay..

When you’re gone,
all the colours fade.
When you’re gone,
no new years day parade.
You’re gone,
colours seem to fade,
colours seem to fade.