Another film by Nora Ephron after Sleepless in Seattle and you’ve got mail. I realized I’m one who will always go back to the same directors, like getting insured for yet another real treat on the reel. And indeed, I do like Julie & Julia, one that you can see traces of Ephron even you have no idea which other movies she has made prior to this. Just the notion of the Men versus Woman like it happens in the different view on movies in Sleepless in Seattle, or the kind of books the man would rather be reading other than Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. And I like how the little movie can just sway your emotions, touch you at the right punchline and the music ever so appetizing though this time round it isn’t too obvious. And it got me at the line “you are the butter to my bread and the breath to my life”… It’s just the kind of movie I need after The Revolutionary Road by one of my favorite couples, Dicaprio and Winslet, a tale about dreams and dejection, about chasing and abandoning, about finding and getting lost. And Avatar just reminds me of Dances with Wolves though the special effects were spectacular, the Korean Crush and Blush wasn’t quite up to expectation too and so was another Japanese production which I cannot even recall it’s title now. Really hope for an impactful movie before the year comes to an end.  

Finished 3 books or so in a week, watched 1 movie on a daily basis for over a week. Don’t really know what I was doing, the rain has come, the snow must have arrived, especially when he felt like a frozen tuna this evening, or so he said. To forget is easier said than done, almost every waking hour in Seoul was spent thinking of and missing him, even when he was right in front of me. Just too surreal an experience, like I am already missing him when he was around and then failed to recall what he looks like once he is gone. Only what he said remained, ringing in my ears every now and then and his keeping his mom’s text messages resulted in a surge of emotions… …Always the warm feelings when I am with him, things may happen around us and I wouldn’t notice anything, not in the least, nothing at all. Yet like after a good read, the pages will have to be turned at the sight of the words “The End”. Saw a book-end in the color I like and these thoughts came to mind. Well, I suppose it’s pun-intended, and indeed, he remembered this literary skill I once taught him. 

Getting colder by the day in Seoul. Bought the Little Prince that comes in both Korean and English. I wonder why I never had a Korean version till now since I have it in English and Chinese and even Japanese. I just need a good read to help me tide over the period of a distress soul and am excited to be watching the 아바타 in the theatre. This is yet another James Cameron dream production, my impression of him stays on the never sinking sunken Titanic while SJ would marveled at how a sequel like Terminator 2 can surpass the first part. Anyways, the man’s immense talent and his persevering spirit and patience in wanting to produce only the best movies are reasons for his well-deserved success and I am sure he would not disappoint his fans. It should be snowing again… …

窗外飘著晚了一点开的花香
仰望看著太早出现的苍白月亮
不管缓慢还是匆忙 世界都一样
用安静的口吻说著无常

每当听见时鐘滴答不停往前走
忽然发现熟悉街景又换了脸庞
爱被时间化上新妆 模糊了模样
想起你时有风轻轻扬
把你吹向更远的地方

那是无尽透明的思念
轻薄像空气渗透进我的心
每次呼吸也许都是叹息
却更像在呼唤你OH BABY

那是无尽透明的思念
清澈像河流让人情愿沉溺
也许我的爱也早已透明
所以你总想不起我爱你

Not meeting after all.

This could be a blessing in disguise or a sign from the Almighty to drive him out of one’s mind. Attended church service at the Yoido Full Gospel Church and was simply in awe at the sight of the scale of the church, be it the physical site or the size of the congregation. The sermon seems timely and to be able to attend Sunday church always brings peace and ignite my inner joy. God is good, all things good and perfect come from above, as said in the Bible. Christmas is most felt here at church with the gigantic Christmas tree erected for the sole purpose of reminding us all the birth of our saviour in a couple of weeks’ time.

Strolling along Yeouido Park didn’t prove quite enjoyable with the cold air back in Seoul this weekend and all I want is to get to a shelter of warmth, so I hopped on the first bus that came by my way and what a relief when I realized that it was indeed heading towards the direction of my desire. Then from the nearby subway station I had my Dunkin donuts at long last. Olive Chewsitry was the flavor, yes, you read it right, it’s Chewistry to signify some Chemistry or so it should mean. Some quirky English expression as invented by the Seoulites again. At about 4.30p.m., the train traveling from Daebang station to Seoul station suddenly stopped right after the Yongsan station. Train line 1 number 5014 had encountered some technical problems and had to transport the remaining 5 or so of us passengers to another train. Then came the adventure of jumping down the train with the help of two great gentlemen and then walked along the pebble-covered railways to get to the other train, again by climbing up with the help of the others. And interestingly enough, I met a Filipino who has been in Korea for the last 5 years but speak minimal Korean. Still, he helped to translate what was exchanged between the driver and some other passengers and we all laughed at the accident turned happy ending. I only wish I had captured how we have jumped down and climbed up the trains, it was so fun! And when I finally settled to check the cell phone, he had left a message about an hour ago to cancel our meeting for the day as the way back to Seoul from Yongpyong was experiencing heavy traffic. I sure hope he had a great day snowboarding, probably listening to his favorite tracks by the Boyz 2 Men and that special song of “Love me for a reason”. But I was indeed heartbroken.

 Failed to deliver his birthday present. No regrets whatsoever, simply heartbroken…

 Wandered around and chanced upon the busy streets of this flea market. Almost anything can be found, you name it and may possbibly find it just right there. Tucked away in the corner where the stone walls lead one to is the Dongmyo Garden where you can see some people probably tired out after some shopping, stopping by to catch a breather. The building that seems like an old palace site is barricaded for some renovation work and so what’s left for visitors to move around is just a tiny piece of land. Still, it serves as an oasis of peace, away from the market place, like some secret garden. 

Seoul is forever crowded it seems, and more so in the weekend. A slow walk like this is most appreciated, strolling alongside Cheonggyecheon after biding my last goodbye 2 years ago proves more emotional than as imagined. The river is there, some flashback of the past scenes in bits and pieces and am glad all came to a calm when a church appeared to take the mind off the emotional baggage. Friend commented that histroy repeats itself, I am merely wandering in a maze, frantically finding a way out but to no avail. I concede defeat, opted to throw in the towel but am not allowed to quit this maze just yet for some reasons unknown and am most curious to find out. For now, this is the most challenging of all chanllenges faced and perhaps am just acting like Don Quixote with the chessy slogan that goes “My armor is my only clothes, my only rest is battle”. So am battling my own soul, the heart versus the head only that am reduced to a coward at this very moment. Is he my Dulcinea of Toboso, the man of my thought only because I have been leafing through much literature and uphold the hopeless belief that “the vanquished will have to obey the victor”? There is no magician, no villians turned windmills and am certain the prize will not be won over even if there is a victory.

24 months have since passed, like running a race that has yet to come to the finishing line. But the end will come one day, just like the page on Dongdaemun Stadium has turned yellow to turn to a new page of the Dongdaemun Design Plaza and Park.

Decided to go to the zoo but it turned out to be more than a zoo. Seoul Grand Park houses the zoo, the Seoul Land or some theme park and a Botanic Gardens of some kind. Can’t say much about other than the zoo since I don’t have ample time to move around except to wander about the zoo, a must visit destination for me whichever city I may be in. Somehow it has become a kind of habit since. Of course I could miss anything but the giraffes and I did manage to take a close look at them. In addition, I have a great surprise from the hue flaming flamingoes and a bored-looking zebra that stared and  yawned at me! Took the tram-car and the cold air blowing at me got me sleepy once again. Then a cup or rather half filled cup of milk coffee was good to warm my frozen hands and the meeting with an eager-to-converse-in-English elderly man and a most helpful young lady who went an extra mile to provide me with the right direction on my way back were most rewarding. Not forgetting what I always wanted to eat, kind of sugar-coated fritter? The only tiny bit of problem was that at 200 won a fritter there’ll be no bag and as I hold it with my fingers, the sugar just fell all over me! But I must say I really enjoyed it and it tastes just like donut in the form of a fritter.

After the visit to the Grand Park, I took a detour to the Kyobo Bookstore at Gwanghwamun for my OST and newly released albums before I went to meet SJ, the first meeting after more than 2 years. So this is how it feels to say “it’s been a long time” to a long-lost friend… …then or now I simply can’t find the right words to describe. All is calm and surreal, like in a Quixotic dream, it just doesn’t seem real at all. And again it’s starbucks and indeed, he wouldn’t have stepped into one unless it’s with me, but I have since moved away from the chain and perhaps that would be our last visit too. Time flies but time seems to have suspended at a certain point. I was actually at the Lotte World when I planned to see the Hangang, that’s the irony. Sleepless tonight and just one final thought–life’s a dream. 

Quiet weekday afternoon, the sky was cloudy and it drizzled a little but not too cold to dampen the mood of the beach pilgrims. Made it a point to witness this sea for myself, and the scenic view I was feasting on was simply more than words or picture-taking for that matter could explicitly expressed. Nothing left to be done, just walking along the stretch of rain moistened sandy beach of presumably a kilometer long and standing gazing at the waves came rolling into the shores. The myriad of seagulls dancing in the sky was a real treat and so is one family out on excursion which made a good picture through my lens. All so tranquil and peaceful, all so quiet and soothing, like the wounds been healed and the tears dried up. Such is the power of the sea! This is Busan, the land of the mountains and the seas and the seagulls. This is a place completely different from the hustle and bustle of the vibrant Seoul. And I just breathed in the cool crispy air in contentment.

12月10日。海云台海岸线，白浪拍打着岩石，海鸥处处。想他，无法遏制自己地思念他。神经的每一处都在喊着他的名字，一次又一次要告诉他：我在海云台，我想他，我看到了他看到的景物，幻想着某个冒着寒风走在湿漉漉的沙滩上的人会是他！每一次我这么在心里说着话。来到釜山，来到他出生的故乡，我根本不能自己。只是这样。（写于傍晚8时55分，KTX车上）

Finally sink my teeth into those juicy looking sauce covered chickens! I have been meaning to think academically after the tour at Gwanghwamun this morning. Yet while King Sejong’s great achievements have been truly impressive, the whole day was spent thinking of ways to get those famous Korean fried chicken.  Who would have thought it could be this tough to get a chicken meal for one? Somehow this city does not seem to believe in eating alone, hence you would most likely be shooed off like some stray dogs when you try to get yourself a meal at some eateries. And when I look around me, alas! People do come in a group of at least two most of the time, but that may only happen here, in reality or metaphysically speaking, we are often very much alone in our arrival and final departure. Anyway, thanks to the business savvy woman, I was ”permitted” a special set meal at 10 000 won, which serves as a decent dinner for me and a reasonable profit for her. And yes, they do taste as good if not better as they look. Well, King Sejong and the National Folk Museum will have to wait till tomorrow while I pamper my tired feet after the long walks this whole day.