Perhaps Love-am I not worth remembering?

Zhou Xun has recently received a Golden Horse award for best female lead for her portrayal in the film “Perhaps Love”. She spoke with sincerity how the film has a great impact on her life as an actress as well as in her personal life. I watched the film again on DVD after my experience in the theatre and it has successfully brought tears to my eyes. Then I realise that what truly haunted me was the character played by Takeshi Kaneshiro, a man with a baggage of a 10 year memory… and now I found this old write-up done just a day to commemorate its first anniversary…

Why do you choose to forget me? For you believe that something not to be forgotten will come? The snowfall was real, the cold was subtle and the hug still warms my heart. Yet I was the only one who holds on to the memory and you will not remember to remember me. Just a difference of a day, a year, ten years…what difference does it make if we were to meet again in nine days, nine months, nine years? The feelings so surreal, your smile frozen and eyes looking at but does not see me. Do you, remember me?What could be the theme of this love story? If there is one thing that really catches my attention and got me awe-struck, left me speechless and almost sleepless for the whole of last night, it was the idea of “Remembrance and Amnesia”.In the first place, be it the movie or the musical within the movie had Zhou Xun as the one who suffers from Amnesia or chose to forget. Memory lost is indeed the price she has to pay for all the material returns, fame and wealth. The only habit she is left with following this amnesia is perhaps, her grinding her teeth in her sleep. And only when she grinds her teeth would she reveal her vulnerability. Yet, she is not born a money/fame grabber, as seen in her giving herself to her true love before she betrayed her body and soul to a director who promised her a chance in the “outside world”. And playing her beau, Takeshi Kaneshiro is the one who holds on to the memory they shared in Beijing. His suffering from insomnia and indulging in great amount of pill popping is just an attempt to escape from the past, for each time in his sleep, the separation scene will take place and he will have to lose Zhou every time he wakes up from the tormenting sleep. Sleep is no longer a luxurious slumber since she walked out of him ten years ago. And the words she mumbled during their last embrace were for him to forget her, to forget the days they shared.She has since gone to the “outside world”; while he is still locked up in their past and perhaps, the only reality left for him was the pool that cast out the “outside world”. I thought that was quite a brilliant analogy used, to be totally out of the ramblings of the world and immersed oneself in the pool (of love). For only those who have fallen and submerged in the abyss of love will savour the bittersweet taste of solitude. The scene where he walked in the pool almost signifies a solitary loner, and reminds me of the line that goes–”I went into the woods deliberately, to suck out the marrows of life”. The suffering from his lost of love is indeed his reason for his staying alive, the very juice of his survival.So what is left of a desolate lover? It could not be hatred, but certainly there would be an urge to take revenge prior to the great revelation. When all is gone and one is condemned to exile from his true love, what may be his last words to him/her? For Takeshi, it was simply for Zhou not to forget (Beijing, also represents their love or himself).Do not forget. Don’t you forget. Even when love blossomed in the winter snow was buried by the biting cold, the warmth of my gentleness caresses your memory when the wind blows, when the sun rises again in your land.


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