Rational versus Emotional

[저녁에]

日子恢復平靜,我努力生活得精力充沛。屬于你的過去似乎遙遠了,回憶卻緊抓着我不放。到底那個冒出來的記憶要糾纏我多久?我的雙眼看得清晰,我的失眠重蹈覆轍,每夜睜着眼睛到凌晨3、4點。好容易入眠,兩、三個小時后又會醒過來。是啊!白雪皚皚的天地里,這正是你最愛的季節,你說過的。再過幾個小時,你又該在生日蛋糕上吹息歡悅的燭光。但,沒有一通電話,沒有一張卡片,沒能捎去短信,一句:生日快樂,都無法給予你祝福。我只能離你遠遠,試着忘記過去,假裝你從沒有來過。這樣,對你來說是最好的禮物。我也只能給你這么一份禮物。

[밤에]

Met my classmates cum friends from senior high school in church today. Both husband and wife got together some years after graduating from our school and I was even invited to recite the passage from Corinthians Chapter 13 on their wedding day. In fact, it was the wife who brought me to our church and in a way got me converted to Christianity months later. Anyway, we haven’t met each other for some years and never once did see each other in church since they moved to another nearer their place. The amazing part of this episode is that I had just mentioned an old friend from our cohort last night during dinner with my god-daddy. I was telling him how I suddenly thought of this one guy friend from senior high school and the wonderful days of studying hard and playing “wild”. And then, these 2 persons from the past made their appearance a day after my reminscing. In additional to this meeting, guess what they said the moment we started talking? The husband went,”hey, I still remember someone said she is going to die by age 40 and how many more years to that now?” Yes, I used to harp a lot on this issue before my conversion of faith but no one had said anything about this since age 19, but he is the second(or is he the thrid one?) to mention this within the year! I am not just about to turn superstitious, but really, what should I be doing with my life if I have only till the designated age? I begin to fall into deep contemplation.

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