Drifting thoughts


Everything seems to be back in square one, even the weather is warming up to its familiar humidity. The rain has stopped though occasional shower still visit in the afternoon. Somehow, am not in the mood to talk…Had a rather quiet dinner with Nerix last week, both of us just ate what we were craving for, only that the calamari prepared was not up to expectation, it was a little too chewy. Nerix claimed that it doesn’t seem too fresh, unlike what we had on other nights. Slept throughout the weekend, feeling mentally and physically tired to attempt to do anything else. If it’s true that those who sleep more hours tend to lose weight while those with little sleep are prone to add on more kilos, then I bet I must have shed quite a few grams by sleeping in these two days. What is this feeling of not really feeling much? Not much excitement or anxiety, not even able to distinguish between happiness and sadness, just simply waking up each morning, breathing in and out. Shawn Mathews, the first blogger I was faithfully following had passed on last May, and I only found out a couple of days ago when I tried to retrieve some of his entries posted back in Korea, on that fantasy island, the Koje island. He was indeed the one who got me interested in reading blog entries and understanding how the world of strangers can genuinely be connected. I was totally mesmerised by his wit and sharp observation, and the passion oozes out of his words will get anyone hooked on his writings. Yet, he chose a path that I supposed most of his readers would not be able to comprehend. Maybe it was a result of his much speculated depression, or maybe he was just not thinking much or on the contrary, thought too much at the specific moment. In anyway, there will never be a new entry by him, not anymore. I don’t know how much this has affected me, I mean I still have his book on the Koje island to be reminded of his flair for writing though I would love to re-read his other posts originally posted under the Korean blogs. To disgress a little, I wanted to read the old entries only after I’ve found out that the Koje island is to be SJ‘s hometown. I don’t know what to make out of this link, or again, I was just reading too much into it. Nerix commented that my entries these days are rather somber, …gloomy was the word she used, I just don’t know how not to be.


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