Time suspended

It suddenly dawned on me how long I have had my audio equipment and that few pieces of my favourite blouses. Then this afternoon to my horror, the audio equipment is experiencing some technical failure for the very first time and I know I’ll have to get a replacement by 설날. And anyway, I’ve been shopping much to do a mini-revamp of my wardrobe. Again, it reminded me of how time flies and that many a time, we just didn’t know how it has gone by until it is no longer in sight.

Have you wondered how much time spent being yourself? Just being who you are and not to fulfill a role as expected or required of you by any other person? Have you ever thought of the times when you would just be taking in a deep breath, smell the aroma of a flower or gaze at the star-studded skies or fleeting clouds? Have you ever felt like getting drenched in a rain and listen to its rhythm as in the oldies? Am beginning to forget about the smell of the rosemary, one of which still lying in between the pages of a book from my Israel trip. And am no longer running in the rain for fear that I may catch a cold and be away from my assignment-piled-up work desk. In reality, I long to lie down on the running track and look up to the skies, whether in loneliness or in quiet solitude. And while wolfing down the food some days ago, I just felt sad over how little time we were left for ourselves, that even when we thought we are working this hard to keep us well-fed, we are deprive of the feeding time! And since when did the get-together with friends become a mere date on a busy calendar? To think we can only meet when job is done and regardless of how close or far apart we are in the physical sense, there is always other agenda to separate us.
Many years back I saw the line that says that “life is a prison”, somehow, this line just crept out of my memory. Did we imprison ourselves? Is there really such a thing as a moment of liberty, say upon retirement? Then we may be occupied with many other made-up-to-be reasons to continue to stay busy. I’ve just decided to be more efficient; make good use of my time so as to free myself of all possible excuses not to participate in the so-called time wasting activities, such as meeting up and chatting with friends, exercise, spend a quiet time with God and just doing and thinking of nothing by myself.

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