I had a near deaf experience on my right ear which lasted for about 10 minutes! I thought it was just temporary ear block due to the bad flu, yet when the right ear felt like it’s been completely covered with wax and acted like it’s the radio antenna, I could no longer find it amusing to overcome the fear. Then for that moment I thought to myself, first it was the lost of voice the last time I had a terrible flu that made me cough for weeks, and now this deafening threat. Flu is indeed like it’s been speculated to be the most lethal of all ailments, it is not as common a cold as it had disguised itself to be. And I don’t know why or how, I was all of a sudden, reminded of the Chinese schools of thought that preached about how life should be lived, one being to stay detached from the world. Well, Christianity talks about this too, but there is a saying by a Chinese sage who has advocated turning a deaf ear to many undesired talking or conversation. True enough if we were to think through it, so many words have been spouted on a daily basis, so many meaningless conversations exchanged, even without taking the wordless body language into consideration, we have wasted long hours over such unnecessary acts. Sometimes I feel that like what the experts have warned us against listening to our Mp3 or Mp4 and  cell phone or anything that will allow the ear pieces to be plugged into our ears for fear of us going deaf, hearing and listening to many and ourselves can be just as painful. I sometimes wish to be left alone, I sometimes feel that by plugging in my ear pieces and shutting myself up from the outside world with the ear-blasting music, I am in fact running to a haven of silence. I remembered how the lost of voice experience had allowed me to just “write” what is most essential and saying nothing, left contemplating to myself. Then I was in the world but out of the world, I could think better and feel better. I suppose I need to occasionally run away from all to find solace in solitude. It is only in such aloneness will I truly see my own reflection and feel my own soul. And it’s truly comforting for me that I would still like to be intact with myself, that I still am concerned about staying sober in my existence and getting to know more about the so-called outside world that I am living in. I certainly hope to remain so and thus, I finally understood why I am considered an odd-ball by many…perhaps so.


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