I want to remain sane, to be reflective and to be intuitive. There are times when I felt that I may be losing my sanity, can’t seem to find the meaning of and meaning in life, and I question my own existence and my own ability and capacity. There were other times when I knew something is missing in life and that I am allowing myself to be swayed and be talked into believing in the emptiness of all things, myself included. Then I often thought of the book of Ecclesiastes, how the chasing after the clouds and the winds and all things mundane and temporal. Yet other moments were spent contemplating, reminding oneself of the intellect and the emotions intact and I am fine. I long for the discerning centre of gravity in me, my faith and my understanding of myself. Though I may doubt, I only need to pause to take a deep breath, then I am again with sight to see the beauty of the external world and with my inner vision, I can appreciate the beautiful souls in nature and in the people whom I am blessed to be acquainted with. I hear the music of lives and aspire to stay alive for as long as the bodily existence is awake. This body may get weary, but the heart and soul need only to be rejuvenated and upon which be revived to take in the elixir life itself can offer. And once again, I can verbalize my inner thoughts, all that I have meaning to share with those who will hear and see. The discerning self that awakens to the pounding of my heart is slowly waking up after a long and deep sleep, my hiatus will soon be over…


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