Ode to Pain

… …The heart is experiencing a flutter, when autumn arrives and winter is in sight, the heart will fly north where the coat of white covers the world with its shimmering hue… …Things I can never understand will never be understood, such unfathomable mysteries or wisdom keep me away from sanity at most times. What’s wrong with missing a person who has gone into hiding? Gone to a retreat or just playing the role of a recluse, a hermit, evaporated in the likes of the morning dew? What’s Wrong with showering a person with care and concern even when he has not the faintest idea what it would be like to be doing so for him? You slept and the dreams are vividly replaying the past moments, you woke up to a view of a tower hanging outside the window only to be reminded of the one in the land where he used to be. You began to question yourself, is that a habit or what you define as affection? You get suspicious over your own emotions, how you should have felt, interpreting what could be registered in a mind which may never mean to register anything relevant to what you wish it would be. What interpretations where no signs were displayed? What suspicion when the answer is obviously more obvious than the senses could have one deceived? What’s with you? You have asked these again and again in your mind, repeatedly like a broken turntable yet you will never come to accept the reply. You simply refuse to comprehend the most comprehensible, reject the rejection that has long taken place and recall all that can never be recalled. An obstinate ass is what you have turned into and you continue to plough and to till and to carry the burden that was forsaken and abandoned by the one who left and had you left behind… … Still, the very pang of that heartache brings a smile to the face, if not for the flower in the heart that doesn’t seem to wither, how else should this be read or analysed by a rational head? 

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