Sober-up

Not that I try to sound nonchalant but the truth is, what is the truth? Things you once think may be true turn out different, you look at the surface and start to imagine what it should be like beneath it and then realize that it has never been what you had imagined it to be. Such as love, such as understanding, such as forever, such as your very own “self”? Who am I? You thought it to be a question for some growing kids, or some passers-by at the threshold of their quarter or mid-life crisis. And then what happened after that mid-life? You totally gave up on the search for your own identity? And was there such an identity to begin with?

Lying at the riverside, gazing at the flying clouds and the shimmering ripples of the river, all was quiet and calm. Like a fleeting dream, ain’t gonna sleep and still couldn’t keep awake. The face of that someone just appear before me, or was there such a face? Too far in time and space, no longer clearly remembered. Who told us that memories are forever? Is there such a thing as forever? For all things human, I have absolutely no doubt it will not last, not even what is going on now in my mind. The one person I thought I am has come to be challenged once again. Now who am I? The one when I am awake or thought I am or the one to succumb to the spirits? Totally lost, not sure what to say or what to do when awake and suddenly, words uttered and the spirits in the high when in this muddled state. Who is to tell us what this is all about? Still in search of myself, still trying to locate the place I am to be. Where am I? But it wasn’t because I am down or depressed or losing hope, I am still very much intact, one piece and soulfully in existence. Just why are there so many questions and the everyday life just doesn’t seem to allow us the time to contemplate.

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